July 2025
Homemaking is both logistical and emotional. Cooking and cleaning are unavoidable aspects of homemaking, but without the purposeful pursuing of a warm and welcoming environment, cooking and cleaning alone is simply housekeeping. Many of us think carefully about the aesthetics of our home.
Decorating and organizing is not the entirety of homemaking, but it’s an aspect of it.
Within minutes of walking into a house, I either feel at ease or perhaps slightly uncomfortable based on such a “vibe.” The beautiful variety of homemaking allows for a welcoming atmosphere to happen in a plethora of home types and decorating styles. I’ve been in large and small homes that have felt welcoming (or the opposite.) I’ve admired eclectic and traditional styles, houses that were mostly stocked by Pier 1, TJ Maxx, and Hobby Lobby or thrift stores and flea markets, and each has beckoned to me in similar ways though through different means.
I’ve been thinking about the aesthetics of homemaking recently because we have taken on some home improvements. We recently underwent replacing our 20 something year old carpet and painted the downstairs. We are also in the process of revamping two bedrooms and replacing the upstairs flooring.
In truth, painting does not feel like homemaking. It feels like maintenance…and possibly manual labor. Yet, preserving and beautifying are central aspects of homemaking. As I painted, I was struck by the passage of time: we have been in our home for 14 years, and there are certainly many improvements and tweaks we have made: a retaining wall in the backyard, a reno in the kitchen and hallway bathroom, and the list of minor updates goes on.
But much of being a homeowner is just doing your darndest to keep up with what you already have. To power wash the mold off the siding and remember to get the dust off the ceiling fans. To weed the flower bed and replace those wobbly boards on the deck.
As I sat cross legged on the floor, painting floorboards we always said we would caulk but only did so shortly before I painted, I began to mentally berate us.
How could we have waited so long to do something we should have done when we first moved in? As I looked around at the carpet molting around me, leaving obvious bare patches, I chided myself: Why didn’t we replace the carpet before it got to this threadbare point?
But the answer was right there as well. We had been busy LIVING in our home. We had been having four babies and raising them. We had been spending time with family and friends. We had been exploring and learning and growing.
Such reasons don’t change the fact that the carpet had to be replaced, and the walls ought to have been painted before that. But it helped me to ponder my motivation and goals regarding homemaking.
It can be easy to desire a magazine worthy home for its own sake: it can be a way to impress people, feel on trend, or stay entertained with a decorating hobby.
As I have contemplated ways I want to redecorate the downstairs, it has been easy to add way too many possible items to my Amazon cart, to gawk at too many Pinterest boards, and to believe that to be a good homemaker, I need to have a flawless aesthetically pleasing home.
Yet in reality, even if I were to accomplish the lofty mark of decorating perfection, scuff marks will soon appear on the new paint job, and something will inevitably get spilt on the new carpet. Light fixtures we have replaced will become outdated, and décor that is perfectly fine will become boring, and I’ll be tempted to replace it.
Finding joy in homemaking seems to be about embracing moderation. We should love our homes and seek to make them beautiful and welcoming for our family and friends. We should try to be good stewards of our homes, which very likely will entail making improvements.
But homemaking is also about accepting what we have rather than always hoping for something more.
There is a difference between pursing home improvements that are within the budget that serve our family well and always having a wish list in which we are dissatisfied until we can check off the next thing and then add two more to the agenda.
It is common for people to move out of starter homes into dream homes or just upgraded homes. My kids have also noticed this and for a while, they often asked when we were moving or why we weren’t moving. While there can be practical and justifiable reasons for such moves, we have opted to stay where we are. We got a great deal on our home, it’s large enough to accommodate our family, and we can slowly keep doing DIY projects to make it a little more to our taste and wants. Our kids now talk about what a perfect fit our home is for our family.
Finding contentment in a home that may not look like the American Dream in 2025 can be a way to choose simplicity in a supersized culture. As the Scripture says,
Choosing to invest in our home improvements felt like a way to find pride in ownership but also to practice stewardship of what we have been given rather than pining for something different.
For those who may be renting, loving your home may mean decorating it to the extent your landlord allows you to rather than waiting until you own to paint an accent wall or find décor you enjoy. For those who are in homes they have outgrown or hope to soon move on from, Myquillyn Smith has a lovely book entitled The Nesting Place: It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to be Beautiful that speaks to the happiness that can be found in seeking to cultivate beauty in whatever space we find ourselves in.
Whether it is an addition to a current home or a move to upgrade to a different one, there will always be “more” out there. While being blessed with more is certainly not something to feel guilty about and can even be an opportunity to show hospitality and serve others, it can be worthwhile to cultivate our homes not according to outward standards about square footage or designs but instead by our family’s needs and our own sense of style.
Rather than fixating on what is deemed fashionable or trendy, I want my home to reflect me. A main reason we repainted was that I instantly regretted the color I chose when we moved in. At that point, I didn’t have a decorating style or realize how aspects of my personality could connect to the way I set up our home. I’ve learned I like being surrounded by light colors rather than dark or bright ones.
In addition to my appreciation of subtle colors, I have also learned that the pretty and whimsical things I am drawn to connects with my being soft-spoken and maybe even being an introvert. The farmhouse and vintage aspects connect with my being an old soul. The word art I have always been drawn to (you know the plaques I’m talking about!) mean something to me because I love language and appreciate a well-turned phrase.
I enjoy being in homes that look like the people who live in them – not because we find our identity in our homes but because it reflects an understanding of our personality and a creative outlet to express it. I’m not one to follow designers, but I do appreciate what Nate Berkus said:
I recently visited my sister’s lovely home, and she has visual art everywhere. It was so inspiring to walk up her staircase and see familiar and surprising pieces. She was an art major in college, and her style reflects that, just as the ample plants in one friend’s home reflects her nurturing disposition and the minimalism of another’s reflects her contentment with simplicity.
So, if you, like me, find yourself (or soon plan to) amidst a house project and are feeling a little weary, let’s remember that homemaking doesn’t always happen while wearing an apron. Sometimes it requires breaking a sweat or climbing up and down a ladder.
If we let them, home improvements can send us spiraling into a “If you give a mouse a cookie” mindset in which one thing leads to another and breeds discontentment rather than satisfaction in what has been improved, but if we purpose to, we can celebrate the little and big changes and embrace the quirks and imperfections in our homes as well.
Photo credit: <a href=”https://stockcake.com/i/woman-painting-wall_1265064_1141782″>Stockcake</a>