Blogging is new for me.
I’ve tried out a fair amount of writing formats, but I have never blogged. And that is what makes this new season I am entering into so exciting, and perhaps a bit scary. I have been in academia long enough to have learned the ropes. I know how to craft a proposal for a conference presentation or article abstract, but starting a website, marketing a book, and committing to a blog is new territory. And it feels like it is time. We have had so many firsts these last 13 years: buying a home, embarking in our careers, starting and finishing my PhD, having a baby, and then another and another and another. But things have settled. They have felt mostly comfortable. Of course, there are always the stresses of daily life and the new milestones the kids are reaching, but I have felt for a while that there needs to be something else; I just haven’t known quite what.
I have wanted to write a book for a while. Fun fact: I had a book contract for a different project that was in the works about 4 years ago. I wrote the entire thing but then as the project moved forward, there were unanticipated road bumps, and I ultimately made the decision to step away from the project. At first, that was very hard. I am an efficient person who does not like to waste time, so adding up all the hours I had spent researching and writing a book (it was an academic text) that would never see the light of day made me feel wasteful. I’m the sort of person who finishes a tv series I stop loving or a book I’m not enjoying out of principle. I’m not a quitter, but walking away from revising a book I had already finished felt like quitting. Learning how to move on from something that is not right isn’t easy, but it can be worth it. When we stop spending our time and energy on the wrong things, it can help us redirect toward the right things.
God’s providence and preparation even when we don’t realize it is happening is so rich. All the training I had while writing my dissertation and all the practice I had in writing the book that was not meant to be prepared me to write the one that was meant to be. As I wrote The Working Homemaker, I often marveled at the way the book almost wrote itself, so to speak. There was so much that I had wanted to say for a long time, so much I had gleaned through studying maternal theory in graduate school and figuring it out on the practical level once becoming a mother.
When I started out as a new, very green English professor, I felt the need to prove I could publish in my field, and this desire only intensified in graduate school. So, I have a couple handfuls of articles and book chapters out there in journals and anthologies that few people will ever find and read that have served as my springboard. And though I enjoyed those projects and feel some pride for writing them, I began noticing that I was producing a smattering of work over a very broad and unfocused array of topics that didn’t reflect at all on my faith and worldview, let alone the topics I cared most about. The Lord began laying it on my heart not to just jump at any opportunity to write for a journal asking for submissions but to instead begin using my writing specifically for His glory.
So, I started purposing to attend Christian conferences and to begin thinking about how rather than writing lots of short pieces on many different topics, I could gain a focus on what really matters and commit to that. I think this is a part of maturing that we all go through. We can have many different interests and maybe even talents, but in order to really commit to and flourish at something, we must dedicate ourselves to it. Though I still plan to take on certain academic projects, I no longer feel the need to prove to academia (or perhaps more importantly to myself) that I can write. I now feel a calling to write about one of the most significant aspects of my life: motherhood and homemaking amidst having a career and to do it in a way that invites the presence of the Holy Spirit to come alongside me and whoever else may be reading.
When I was offered the contract to publish The Working Homemaker, at first I was elated. I had gotten a lot of “no” before this “yes.” Then as the excitement settled, the fear set in. What if I was committing to the wrong publisher? What if I published the book and no one read it? How could I possibly compete in a market where 4,000 new book titles are introduced every day? I still don’t have the answer to all these questions. My hope is that my book will encourage and inspire some sweet mamas, but I don’t expect it to become a bestseller or anything like that. I’m not being self-deprecating; I’m just being realistic. And the Lord is showing me how to be faithful regardless of the reception.
The world constantly tells us that we must be big and important to be significant. Praise the Lord, our identity and self-worth are not determined by our accomplishments but by how He sees us. And we are beloved. We are chosen. We are called. I poured myself into writing my book and have taken many steps of faith in doing things a previous version of myself would have never imagined doing. I believe we are called to be brave. But I believe part of faithfulness is doing the work or taking the risk even when it doesn’t show up in social media followers or sales numbers.
For those of you reading, I’m sure you have your own area where you have had (or maybe soon will) the opportunity to be brave. Just remember, when we step out in faithfulness, we will be blessed through the growing of our faith regardless of how others receive our actions. In church recently, we finished studying the book of Ephesians. Of course, the big name connected with Ephesians is its author the Apostle Paul, a pinnacle of leadership in the early church and even today. But Paul mentions Tychicus, his helper and currier (the man who carried his letter to its recipient) in chapter 6. Tychicus is not considered a patriarch of the faith. Most of us forget his name (if we’ve come across it at all) and move on to the big names: Noah, Moses, David, Peter, and Paul. But without Tychicus, Paul’s letter to the Ephesians may have never been received and recorded for us to read today. Tychicus was used by God in a small way that had an impact on the kingdom.
As I post this first blog and hold my breath to see what is in store for my soon to be released book, I hope I can be like Tychicus. I want to be someone who has been faithful in what I have been prompted to do but not greedy for praise or attention. If you’re feeling a little bit like Tychicus as well, a little overlooked, a little unable to become exceptional, it’s okay. Whatever it is we are doing, let’s just do it well and leave the rest up to God.